Finding Charlie's Angels

In a previous post, I looked at some of the social media marketing for the Breakstone's brand.  Social media marketing, in general, is just sad.  It never occurred to me that I would get a chance to become part of the sadness.

You ask for miracles, I give you ABC.

Today, I got an email titled "Blogger Outreach" from Technorati.  It's nice of them, I thought, to keep in touch with their 30,242nd ranked blog.  (I'm 3,949th in Entertainment, so fingers crossed.)

This is pretty accurate.

The email, however was on behalf of ABC.  The real ABC.  It said:

We have a first look at ABC's newly announced dramas, Once Upon a Time and Charlie's Angels, just for Technorati blogger partners!

Let's see their blog tackle sour cream.

ABC just announced this morning that they will be picking up Charlie's Angels, a big, loud, fun take on the 1970's smash hit series, and Once Upon A Time, a modern day fairytale from two of Lost's master storytellers for their fall line up. They wanted to provide our entertainment bloggers with exclusive videos for you to report on and discuss the shows and stars.

Download the Once Upon A Time video now at:  Once Upon A Time

Download the Charlie's Angels video now at:   Charlie's Angels

Get More Exposure To Your Blog Via ABC

Once you've published your post, please submit your post at: http://bit.ly/kYSnMG

We will send all submitted posts to ABC to review and potentially be included in a widely-released Technorati conversational media ad (CMAD) slated to receive over 11 million impressions to Entertainment related sites across our advertising network. (View examples at http://technoratimedia.com/portfolio).

It's great additional exposure for your blog and writing!

The official Once Upon a Time and Charlie's Angels press releases follow for more details and information on the series.

Looking forward to reading your posts about Once Upon A Time and Charlie's Angels!

Scott Lyon
Blogger Outreach Manager
Technorati Media

Holy heck!

First of all, I disabled the links to the videos.  I didn't want to give the network any free help with their search engine rankings.  Don't be too disturbed.  The links are NOT to the full pilot episodes, but just to two minute commercials.  They're both available on YouTube if you have to see them.  Incidentally, I was promised that these were "exclusive videos."  They're exclusive to everyone with an internet connection.

But let's look at what really happened.  ABC paid Technorati for access to its email list.  They did give me a chance to unsubscribe, but look how Technorati phrases it:

If you do not want to receive any more newsletters, visit here to unsubscribe. [link disabled]

Technorati calls this a newsletter.  To me, it looks like an ad.

So, ABC paid Technorati real money.  What are they offering to pay me?

Exposure for my blog.
A chance to have my quote included in an internet ad.
Great additional exposure for my blog and my writing.

That's fine.  I like exposure.  And I like writing.  But what do I have to do to get the "exposure" and the "additional exposure"?  Can I say bad things about the shows?

ABC hopes I don't.  In fact, they do more than hope.  Included in the email were long and short descriptions of the shows with cast lists and producer credits.  Here's the one for Once Upon A Time.

Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz (Lost, Tron: Legacy) invite you to a bold new vision of the world where fairytales and the modern day are about to collide.

Just click [ctrl}[+] if you want to read
their nonsense.  Otherwise, enjoy this
picture of Jennifer Morrison.

Anna Swan (Jennifer Morrison) knows how to take care of herself. She's a 28-year old bail bonds collector who's been on her own ever since she was abandoned as a baby. But when the son she gave up years ago finds her, everything will change. Henry (Jared Gilmore) is 10 years old now and in desperate need of Anna's help. Henry believes that Anna actually comes from an alternate world... and is Prince Charming (Josh Dallas) and Snow White's (Ginnifer Goodwin) missing daughter. According to his book of fairytales, they sent her away to protect her from the Evil Queen's (Lana Parilla) curse, which trapped the fairytale world forever, frozen in time. Of course Anna doesn't believe a word, but when she brings Henry back to Storybrooke, she
finds herself drawn to this unusual boy and his strange New England town. Concerned for Henry, she decides to stay for a while, but she soon suspects that Storybrooke is more than it seems. It's a place where magic has been forgotten, but is still powerfully close... where fairytale characters are alive, even though they don't remember who they once were--including the Evil Queen who is now Henry's foster mother. The epic battle for the future of all worlds is beginning, but for good to win, Anna will have to accept her destiny and fight like hell. 

Brace yourself for a modern fable with thrilling twists and hints of darkness. Brimming with wonder, and filled with the magic of our most beloved fairytales, Once Upon A Time is a fitting follow up to Lost from two master storytellers.

SHORT: 

Welcome to a world where fairytales are real. Anna Swan is like any other 28 year old, until she discovers she's a lost princess destined to save her world from darkness. Experience the passion project of executive producers/creators Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz (Lost, Tron). Once Upon A Time is a thrilling twist of our most beloved stories. 

CAST
Robert Carlyle - Rumplestiltskin
Josh Dallas - Prince Charming/John Doe
James Dornan
Jared Gilmore - Henry
Ginnifer Goodwin - Snow White/Sister Mary Margret Blanchard
Jennifer Morrison - Emma Swan
Lana Parilla - Evil Queen/Regina
Raphael Sbarge - Archie/Jiminy Cricket

So, ABC wants me to blog about their shows and gives me the words I should say to do it.  For free.  Because that's the price the market has set for access to my audience.

And the hurtful thing is that nobody at any stage thought to actually look at my blog, or even to question why I checked the "Television" box when describing my site on Technorati.  If they had, they'd have noticed that Finding Sam Breakstone is about stripping away the marketing and the branding from the products being sold.  It's just not the perfect fit for ABC's needs.  But since the marginal cost of the email to me was free, they weren't actually releasing any exclusive content, and they weren't obligating themselves to listen to me, there was no reason to even think about such things.

Last, allow me to mention Scott Lyon.  He's the Technorati employee who describes himself as the "Blogger Outreach Manager."  He is not.  He's a marketer.  "Outreach" means "selling your email address for money which we keep."  It doesn't make him bad.  It's how the world works.  He has a list of tech-savvy people and others will pay money for it.

The question is:  How many bloggers will take ABC up on their offer?  How many will repeat ABC's marketing department's words as their own?  And how many will be compensated fairly for it?

Now back to looking for Sam Breakstone.

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P.S.  Once Upon A Time looks horrible.  I didn't watch Charlie's Angels, but it stars Minka Kelly, so it's probably great.

P.P.S.  Television Without Pity says they're both terrible.