Finding The Best Place On The Web For Critical Thinking

If you get a chance, stop in here:

"James Randi Educational Foundation"

Seriously, how can you not trust this face?

The forums at the JREF are where you'll find the most careful thinkers on the internet. Skepticism doesn't mean denial of the magical. It means certainty that what you assume, hope for, and wish into being is actually real.

And Skepticism doesn't have a platform or even much unity. People who consider themselves skeptics come down differently on all sorts of issues - from libertarianism to extraterrestrials. All they have in common is a dedication to careful thought.

There's not much going on over there in the way of discussions about marketing, let alone food marketing.  But there's so much going on in terms of good, logical inquiry that it can only help my cause.

After all, the JREF and Finding Sam Breakstone want the same thing: for people to really understand the world in which they live.

Check them out.  The JREF Forum.

Have you already been there?  What did you think?

Finding Like-Minded Souls

When you type "marketing" and "blog" into the internet, you don't get a whole lot of good news.  Most of the links are about how to drive traffic to your site (pay for it) or how to increase your search engine ranking (pay for it or pay somebody to game the system).  A few sites out there are for marketing professionals to trade information ... mostly about whether any of them will hire any of the rest of them.

But it's the very rare site that helps consumers learn what corporations are doing - fair and unfair - to get their money  That's why I wanted to take a moment to recognize Consumerist.Com.

The Consumerist is the professionally-written blog owned by the Consumers Union, the parent company of Consumer Reports.  It's dedicated to exposing the underside of consumer culture, customer service, and corporate malfeasance.  See how I used all those words that start with C?  I'm like that.

The Consumerist killed it again a couple days ago by unearthing the original Ronald McDonald ads.  Here's the first one ever, from 1963:



The amazing thing is just how naked the objective of the ad is:  appeal directly to children and promise them fun.  The reality is that the corporation and its franchisees takes money from adults in exchange for food.  Ronald McDonald isn't even selling a lie.  He's selling an irrelevant lie.  He's selling something that his stores don't carry to people who don't have any of their own money.

By comparison, Kraft's Sam Breakstone campaign looks positively philanthropic.

What do you think about the ethics of marketing to children?  Do you think the Ronald McDonald of today is any better?  Or is he just more subtle?

Finding A Way Back

Sam Breakstone, as I have sadly discovered, was not real.  He did, however, exist.  He was a creation of Kraft Foods.  That may give him an edge on us.  Fictitious people, unlike living ones, have the great advantage of having a purpose.  They were born for a reason by someone who wanted them.

The question is whether Kraft will reveal any of that.

The answer is:  they already did.

In 1977, an article appeared in The New York Times announcing the start of the Sam Breakstone campaign.  The article is hidden behind a pay wall now which, seriously, is a whole other thing, but my point is that Nancy Vale kept a copy.

Below, a scan of the actual newspaper clipping:

The article, "That Sam Breakstone: What A Meanie,"  was published January 31, 1977.  What was I doing on January 31, 1977?  Just hanging out in first grade, waiting patiently for Smokey and the Bandit to be released in four months.

According to the article, Kraft reorganized its dairy companies in 1976, working it out so that they didn't compete against each other.  The marketing agency for Breakstone's, Richard K. Manoff, Inc., created a campaign that took on the competition in the 35% of the country in which Breakstone's sour cream and cottage cheese were sold.

I asked the internet for a picture of Richard Manoff
and it gave me Richard Mulligan and Dinah Manoff.  Enjoy.

Richard Manoff is an interesting guy.  He owned a successful ad agency, but in 1965, he served on the US delegation to the UN's Food and Agriculture Organization (that would have been at the behest of Lyndon Johnson).  He became so taken with the idea of using marketing methods to improve public health around the world, that he formed Manoff International (now The Manoff Group) to consult on using mass marketing to raise awareness of public health issues.  In 1985, he wrote a book, Social Marketing, about how to use modern marketing to help third world nations educate their citizens.  He was instrumental in getting Bolivians to accept iodized salt.

Richard Manoff is still alive and, the internet claims, still working today at 94 years of age.

We know that by the 1980s, Geers Gross was handling the Sam Breakstone campaign.  I don't know when or why that switch occurred.

Yeah, like that happened.

The article says, "[T]he Manoff gang has invented a meanie named Sam Breakstone of whom they say, 'But if Sam Breakstone weren't so mean ... his cottage cheese [or sour cream] wouldn't be so good.'"  The article uses the word "invent," leading to the inference that the ad agency knew that Sam Breakstone was not based on a real person.  Another valid inference is that the author of the article used "invent" even though nobody at the agency said it.  Newspapers aren't infallible.  The New York Times doubly so.

However, in the very next sentence, the article describes Sam Breakstone as "a man who founded his company in 1882."  This leads to the inference that the ad agency thought he was real, or at least was happy to leave some confusion on the issue.  Breakstone didn't found anything, and Breakstone Brothers wasn't founded until 1897.

The first commercials were done on Sullivan Street between Houston and Prince in New York City, just about here:


View Larger Map

The Times calls the turn-of-the-century storefront a "mythical milieu."  Aside from being annoyingly alliterate, it  points to the mad men knowing they were creating a falsehood.

It may not be a great article, as Breakstone is then described as "dog-kickingly mean."  In fact, it was the dog who harassed him.  Although, I'd love to see a commercial with a guy just walking around, kicking dogs.

Irwin Warren

The ad agency reveals its thinking behind the concept.  "The positioning ... is that these are the highest quality dairy products from a manufacturer who has been around for a long time."  They're right.  That is the positioning.  It's also not really true.  The Breakstone's name has been around for a long time (less than they think, but still long).  The company has changed hands again and again.  There's also no evidence that the way their products are made now (or in 1977) has anything to do with how they were made in 1900.  Nor is there evidence that Breakstone's products are of a quality different from their competitors.  And there's no reason to think that the ad agency or Kraft believed otherwise.

The creative director of the campaign was Irwin Warren.   Sadly, Warren passed away in December 2010.  He was 71.  Warren wrote ads for Major League Baseball and Volkswagen.  He also created at least the American version of the Taster's Choice couple.

The article ends by speculating that Sam Breakstone might become as big as Mr. Whipple.  Sweetly, someone in actor Michael Vale's family noted that with a hand-written exclamation mark.

Finding Out If Anyone At Kraft Can Cook

In Finding Sam Breakstone's Favorite Recipes, we started to open up a recipe booklet created by Kraft in 1981.  Now, let's try some.  Let's try them virtually.

This was the
front page

This was pages 2 and 3.  You see how it works

The first recipe is for Cottage Cheese Dip.  I made it .... sort of.  I didn't have any scallions, so I used cilantro.  And I didn't have lemon juice, so I used lime.  Also, I should point out that I used Friendship cottage cheese because it was on sale.
Even so, it didn't taste bad exactly. There was just very little point to it.  Dipping something in cottage cheese is unnerving.  Still, if you ever want to make cottage cheese southwestern style, I highly recommend adding cilantro and lime.  Throw in some grilled corn while you're at it.


The second recipe is for a straightforward sour cream dip.  There's really no reason to add in the mayonnaise and I didn't.  I've really never seen anybody make this type of thing fresh, though. I usually just dump in a packet of ranch mix.  Who owns Hidden Valley?

Mrs. Breakstone's Tuna Salad is a confusing recipe.  I wasn't entirely aware of the existence of a Mrs. Breakstone.  I'm glad Sam settled down.  At any rate, Kraft wants you to combine tuna fish and cottage cheese.  I couldn't do it because it just sounds terrible.  I mean, really awful.  Although, apparently, there are some people who are into it.


Sour Cream Ambrosia is a classic.  If anything, the recipe is too conservative.  Throw in marshmallows, cherries and some dessert spices like nutmeg.  It's just good.


Sweet And Sour Cream Dressing sounds like it might be good.  I can't make it myself because somebody in my house is allergic to nuts.  If anyone wants to try this and report back, I will be: a) grateful; and b) amazed.


Creamy Cucumber Mold is just ... They want me to gelatinize cottage cheese.  There are some lines I will not cross.


Now we're into side dishes, and I just realized that Kraft wanted me to serve ambrosia as an appetizer.  The first side, Sam's Corny Casserole, seems okay.  I would never put in the cottage cheese.  Is it just me?  I wouldn't eat cottage cheese in any dish that's name didn't include "And Cottage Cheese."  What is that?  Melon and cottage cheese?  Perfect, hand it over.
Zucchini Baskets sounds like something I might try.  It doesn't have cottage cheese in it.


Sam's Fiesta Platter is the first recipe that doesn't have a Breakstone's product in it,  although they strongly imply that you should use this Kraft product.  It's really just a way to tell you about two more sour cream dips for your nachos: Avocado and Chile.  In both cases, it seems much easier to just mash up an avocado or throw on some sliced chilies.  


The less said about the Blue Cheese Squares, the better.  I have yet to curse on this blog and I'd prefer to keep it that way.


The Hot 'N Creamy Potato Salad is interesting.  First, I do prefer to have sour cream instead of mayonnaise in my potato salad.  Second, this is the first main recipe that is necessarily unkosher.  That's a strange decision for Kraft to have made.  If nothing else is true of the Breakstone family, this certainly is:  they were Jewish.  And their first success came from serving the Jewish families of Brooklyn and the lower east side.  (It's not my fault people a hundred and ten years ago shopped by religion.)  I don't think bacon made up a large part of their diet, in that I believe that many of the Breakstone family lived their entire lives without ever tasting it.


Cucumber 'N Onion Salad is a fine recipe.  I like it much better without the sour cream.



Tangy Chive Potatoes is ... a baked potato with sour cream on it.  Things are starting to spin out of control.  "Hey, try some sour cream on your potato!" just doesn't seem like a recipe to me.


Saucy Broccoli wants me to mix cottage cheese into my broccoli which ... no.  Also, there's a sketch of hot coffee on this page.  What does that have to do with anything?
Spinach Rice Bake is a rice casserole with cottage cheese in it.  I'd try it.  Once.


I like the Double Cheese Noodle Bake because it's basically noodle kuggel.  Since it doesn't include eggs, sugar, or specify a broad egg noodle rather than, say, spaghetti, it is destined to be horrible.  Did Kraft really think people in 1981 would flip out over any mention of ethnic cuisine?  "This is  a Jewish dish?  Well, I'm just gonna take a hostage."

Main dishes:  Lasagna Rolls.  Kraft wants me to ruin my lasagna by substituting cottage cheese for ricotta.  I won't compromise my grandmother's (Italian neighbor's) lasagna recipe like that.
Chicken Spaghetti Pie sounds okay until you look at the instructions.  They seem to be skipping steps, such as exactly how to make a bechamel sauce.  They don't even call it a bechamel sauce.  They call it a white sauce.  That offends me for reasons I am unable to explain.


The Tortilla Cups sound good.  Look at the detail they go into on how to make a cup-shaped tortilla.  If I wrote this recipe, it would say, "Buy cup-shaped tortillas."


Sour Cream Seafood Dinner disappointed me.  I thought it would be this huge deal with five kinds of shellfish and corn and potatoes.  Instead, it's "Pour a bechamel sauce over some fish you made."  Also, they're still assuming I know:  a) how to make a bechamel sauce; and b) that bechamel is what they mean when they say "white."



This is my favorite page.  I love Mrs. Breakstone's Meatloaf.  I love how they ruin it and make it unkosher at the same time with one ingredient.  I love the sketch of Sam Breakstone.  Is that his wife's meatloaf that he hates so much? 


Thankfully, we're on to the desserts.  And I'm being absolutely sincere here when I say that the Apple Nut Coffee Cake sounds delicious.  I wish I had a piece (without nuts) right now.


The Sour Cream Frosted Squares sound okay.  Can you spot the ingredient they forgot?  There's no sugar in the frosting.  I don't think this cookbook was fact checked.


Sam's Company Cheesecake has cottage cheese in it.  Cottage cheese is not ricotta.  Also, if you don't drain the whey from the cottage cheese before you make this, you're probably looking at something closer to cheese soup than cake.

We're coming to the end of the desserts.   The Strawberries 'N Cream Pancake is something most people call breakfast these days, although they probably shouldn't.  Also, what does Sam Breakstone have against the word "And"?  Why is he always abbreviating it?


The Sour Cream Cake with Chocolate Sour Cream Frosting sounds surprisingly great.  They finished strong.


Except for the very last page.  Here, Sam Breakstone gives tips for using sour cream and cottage cheese.  Sadly, all of his suggested uses include eating them.  At no point does he say that they can remove stains or pick up pet hair.


Guess how many of his cottage cheese suggestions involve putting a scoop of cottage cheese on something, like I've been saying this entire article:  five.  Five.  
But his very last suggestion may well prove that writing this cookbook drove Sam Breakstone absolutely insane:

"8.  Stir cottage cheese into your favorite carrot-raisin salad."

Sam Breakstone thinks I have more than one carrot-raisin salad.  He thinks I have so many that I've developed a favorite.  And he wants me to destroy all my fondness for carrots and raisins by dumping in cottage cheese.


The question we are left with is whether anyone was meant to even take these recipes seriously.  Is a bit of marketing fluff like this supposed to actually add value to the product?  Or is it only supposed to appear to add value?  "Buy X units and get this free cookbook" may be enough to sway a purchasing decision at the point of sale.  Reinforcing the reality of Sam Breakstone helps the brand in all cases.  But did Kraft or the authors even expect any more than that?


Reading these recipes closely, I'm inclined to believe that nobody was ever intended to read these recipes closely.  It's just one more mote of marketing nonsense, floating through our world and obscuring the view. 

Finding Sam Breakstone's Favorite Recipes

Among the keepsakes sent by Nancy Vale comes a thin recipe book created by Kraft in 1981.  It is 8 1/2" long by whatever a third of eleven is.  It numbers 16 pages including the front and back cover.  And despite coming out at about the height of Sam Breakstone's popularity, the booklet features sketches and not pictures of Michael Vale.

I looked into the value of this booklet as a collectible.  It is ... not very high.  It's not that there are many Breakstone's recipe booklets out there.  It's just that there are thousands of booklets that were published by just about every  brand, appliance maker, and association.  These include:  Carnation; Ocean Spray; Amana Freezers; Reynolds Wrap; and the Mutual Citrus Products Company.

Some, like the Amana one, came with new appliances.  Some might have been given out in stores as promotions, or obtained as a prize for buying certain items.  The rarest can go for $15.00, but generally you're talking $3.00 to $6.50, even for something from World War II (Motto:  This Time We Think It'll Take).

As a collectible, nobody's getting rich off Sam Breakstone's Favorite Recipes.  As a look into the marketing mind of Kraft, though, it is priceless.

First the cover:

I love the color.  But, then, I love brown.

Food photography is an art.  There's a reason.  Most food is mostly beige.  When taking pictures of beige food, it's important to have lots of light and contrasting colors.  Sam Breakstone doesn't roll that way.  He likes his brown food on a field of brown.  He likes to take non-brown foods like cherries and just wilt them into brownness by sheer force of New York willpower.

The second page gives us most of our information.

The great thing about this page is that almost everything is a lie.  It didn't all start in 1882.  Breakstone Brothers wasn't formed until 1897.  There was no one, proud dairy store on the lover east side.  There were multiple Breakstone's grocery and dairy locations run by different relatives right from the start.  The order in which Breakstone's added products is wrong.

Oh, and the philosophy that they always kept in mind, "be demanding," never existed.  The philosophy, if any, was, "Let's sell value-added milk products from our own factories."

Then they write this, "And as you see on T.V. today, Sam Breakstone's demanding spirit is what makes every Breakstone's product the best, highest quality and most delicious it can be."  Your guess is as good as mine here.  Are they saying Sam Breakstone existed?  Or are they saying that some ephemeral spirit of demandingness has driven them to create quality products?  Are they even saying their products are the highest quality possible?  Or are they saying that this was the best quality they could eke out under the circumstances?

The entire thing is written as an cypher.  It invites the reader to imagine whatever she wants, whatever makes her think well of the product.

The last line of copy is pure ghost-written fun house mirror marketing nonsense:  "Bon appetite, as Sam Breakstone was never heard to say."  What does it mean?  Does it mean Breakstone didn't know french?  Does it mean that he was kind of crabby and wouldn't say such a nice thing?  Or does it mean that Kraft darn well knows Sam Breakstone did not exist?

No, that's Ghost Rider

Nowhere in the pamphlet is credit given for the marketing copy or the recipes themselves.  It's a shame.  I would have liked to meet the ghost writers.  Was there a person in charge of recipes and another in charge of the front copy?  Was it the same person?  Was there a template of Kraft recipes from which to choose?  Were any of these dishes fed to any living people before this thing was published just to, you know, see what happened.


Coming next, the recipes that Sam Breakstone was so proud of.  Hint - they involve dairy.

___________
To my knowledge, this is the first time this particular booklet has been available to the internet.  Please copy, link and share.  For higher-quality scans, please contact the author.

Finding Out It's A Cookbook. (It's A Cookbook!)

While going through Nancy Vale's files, I found this.  And I thought, "What the hell is this thing?"

Tomorrow, we'll open this up and find out.

Subscribe to find out how a fictional character has a favorite anything, let alone recipes.

Finding A Color Picture

As promised, below is a high-res color promotional still of Michael Vale as Sam Breakstone.  It's probably from about 1985.  To my knowledge, this picture doesn't exist anywhere else on the interwebs.  So, please copy, paste and link freely.  The still appears courtesy of Nancy Vale.